-I’ve been saying for forever (months?) that I need to work on putting her down at night so that Christopher and I can have some time alone together (currently I get her to sleep, then hold her until he comes to bed at which time I go pump/have my me time). But I kept putting it off. She would have a bad night and I’d convince myself I don’t want to mess with it right now. Or my anxiety would be up and I needed the cuddles for my sake, even if she didn’t. Or I’d just forget and stick with the usual out of habit. But the last few days she’s gotten where she doesn’t seem to want to be cuddled after a little while. She’d get unsettled and wiggle until she was sprawled across my lap with her arms flung out instead of tucked up close like she prefers for naps. Maybe she’s just getting hot (since she wears a sleep sack at night but not for naps), but I put her down the last two nights and she’s been totally content to stay asleep. Maybe it would have worked out fine if I’d actually tried to do it sooner, but I feel really good about having waited until it seems like it’s what she wants/needs, instead of pushing her to sleep “alone” (I’m still sitting a foot away, just not touching her) before she was ready. Now it’s a matter of getting comfortable walking away. Not sure how that will go, since we don’t have a monitor and I hate to risk not hearing her and her getting wide awake with no warning. But we’ll see. For now at least I can go pee if I need to while I’m waiting for Christopher to go to bed and take over baby duties!
-We totally redid the layout of her room. One of her “dressers” has actual baskets (not canvas bins like the changing table and other dresser thing), and bits were breaking off when she messed with them, which seemed dangerous. Initially I looked into replacing the baskets, but we decided instead to move it into the closet. We wound up moving every single piece of furniture in her room! We want to get a couple more things, but overall I’m really happy with the changes. I’m working on reorganizing, since we still have things in drawers like swaddling blankets that we haven’t needed in months. And then there’s the humidifier, which is super cute (shaped like an owl), but we live in TN! It’s super freaking humid here. Why do we have a humidifier?! Pretty sure I got a little crazy with the scanner when we were doing our registry. 😄
Anyway, I’m really happy with her room now. It’s closer to a Montessori feel, where she can get to her own things instead of having them hidden away where she’s dependent on us. I sorted her toys into three sets, and I’m going to rotate them weekly. (If one is getting a ton of play still, I won’t pull it, but mostly they’ll get rotated.) I put each set in a bin, and will have the current one always on the bottom (see picture below) where she can pull what she wants. I also put a few books on the bottom (currently the Alice in Wonderland, Dracula, and A Christmas Carol from her Aunt Jes!), along with her rainbow blanket from Aunt Margie (I think she’ll like the colors and texture), and a puzzle from Aunt Casey (she’s too young to get the puzzle aspect but she likes it). And she can reach the rest of the books in the upper section when she starts pulling up, which should be soon. (She has more books in the closet, but these are the ones that are most age appropriate.) We just need to do something about the fact that the whole thing is backless so she can reach through to get to the lamp cords. So far she hasn’t noticed (and I’m pretty sure she can’t actually reach), but that could change at any time!
Ultimately I also want something like this (see picture) for her clothes. We were looking at a tall chest of drawers but I don’t want her to not be able to get things in and out herself. She may need a stool for this (or she may not, she’s so tall), but she’ll be able to pick out her own clothes. The closet can be for storage and non-everyday clothes. (I’m all for letting her wear what she wants, but if we buy her an expensive fancy outfit for special, I don’t want her wearing it to dig in the dirt. So until she’s old enough to really understand that, only play clothes will be easily accessible.) Now I just need to put some thought into getting her a section of cabinet cleaned out in the kitchen for her stuff, and getting her a learning tower (and maybe a small table and chair when she’s ready), and her independent setup will be good!
-Just realized something that probably should have been obvious a long time ago. I’ve been tired from the fact that she still doesn’t sleep through the night, but not THAT tired. Not crazy exhausted zombie tired. The thing is, I’m not really waking up any more than I’m used to anyway! I have a TINY bladder, so waking up to pee multiple times per night is my normal. Add that I was pregnant most of the two years prior to her being born, which meant even more wake ups to pee, and waking up frequently is just not a big deal to me. I’m not saying it’s exactly the same, since clearly peeing is a lot faster than feeding a baby, but since we cosleep it’s pretty quick. Wake up, pop bottle in her mouth, hold it till she’s done, then she rolls over (onto Christopher) and goes back to sleep, so I do the same. This past week or two she’s been having way more dramatic wake ups (crying, not going back to sleep, etc- I think it’s a combo of teething and the 9 month sleep regression), and I’ve been WAY more tired. Now that makes more sense to me! Yay! (Now go back to sleeping well, please!) (Update: I slept in the other room last night so Christopher could do wake ups, and she slept 12 hours with only 2 wake ups! Hoping this means she’s back to normal!)
-Speaking of teething, she had 3 teeth break through last weekend! Eek! That had to have been painful. I feel guilty because we had NO idea there was one coming through on the bottom until my mom noticed it was already through! I mean, she was getting Tylenol for the top two that we knew about, but how could I have not noticed that?! She’s turning into a chompy little crocodile. Don’t let her get your finger in her mouth- you’ll regret it!
-Do you ever get used to the intensity of the feelings that come with parenting I wonder? Like omg she’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen and I just want to squeeze her so much I can’t stand it. Does that ever not seem a little weird?
-I’ve been taking to my cousin about it, and the more I think about it, the more I think I’d be in Hufflepuff. I’ve always said Ravenclaw (well, except in high school when I was pro-Slytherin, which has to be the lamest way to be a rebellious teenager ever), but now I feel like Ravenclaw is where I would have wanted to be, but I’d have really belonged in Hufflepuff and (assuming the Sorting Hat had the sense not to listen to me) I would have ultimately been glad to have wound up there. I grew up being “the smart one,” and I let myself tie too much of my identity/pride to that label. So I went to a magnet high school, took AP classes, took too many hours in (my one year of) college, etc. None of which ended well, because I got in over my head. Ultimately, I think I’d rather be part of the house that values loyalty and patience and true virtues, than one that just focuses on being smart.
-I’ve found I keep thinking of Lily as more of a toddler than a baby lately. Officially she’s definitely not a toddler- she’s only 10 months (8.5 adjusted), and she’s not even crawling. But somehow she just doesn’t seem so babyish. She just seems more.. intentional? I don’t know how to explain it. But it seems like there’s been some kind of shift and she’s more of an assertive, opinionated little person, even though she can’t even talk.
-I was wondering *today* if I should be worried about her lack of interest in eating any significant amount of solids, since she’s supposed to get to where she’s getting the bulk of her calories from it in a few months. (Another reason I’m angry about breastfeeding not working out. I planned to nurse well past a year, so I would always have felt good knowing she was at least getting that if she didn’t eat a lot. Still working on not feeling a lot of anger about that.) Then tonight we went to Cracker Barrel for dinner (yum), and she ate like a little piggy. She didn’t care for cornbread, interestingly. She spit that right out twice (so not an accident most likely). But she ate hashbrown casserole, green beans, pinto beans, chicken, and some biscuit. Not a ton of any of them, but significantly more than she’s eaten at a sitting before. Apparently she really prefers what we’re eating (or at least to eat at the same time as us). So I guess it’s time to implement family dinners! Though I need to clean the dining room, eek. I’ve made a mess of it with working on her birthday stuff and cookies.
-I wonder if she’ll be upset when she finds out one of the songs I sing her to sleep with is about dying, not going to sleep. “Into the West,” by Annie Lenox, from Return of the King. The lyrics make a great lullaby (“lay down your sweet and weary head/ night is falling/ you have come to journey’s end/ sleep now/ and dream of the ones who came before/… why do you weep… soon you will see/ all of your fears will pass away/ and you’ll be here in my arms/ just sleeping” and on). But it’s not about sleeping. I wasn’t super thrilled as a kid to find out Eidelweiss is about a flower (what did I think it was about? Or what did I want it to be about? I’m talking about my own self and I’m still confused), and flowers are cheery. Oh well. Hopefully she’ll understand the intention behind it.
-Our hot water heater went out the other day. Christopher had someone here replacing it in less than 24 hours, woohoo. And the expense sucks, especially since we just did a LOT on the yard that wasn’t cheap, but dude. The new one is SO much better. Took the loveliest bath tonight in our big master bath garden tub. I’ve never been able to before because the water would be cold before it got full. I’m so happy.
-She’s started making this little pugnacious bulldog face and it’s hilarious. She looks so angry! She’s grinding her teeth (not unusual at all), which I don’t love (hate that sound!), but it’s stinking cute!
Cute baby!!
She’s hard on the mat lately!
Took her to the Aquarium (restaurant) to see the fishes!
She’s still not too sure about grass
Measuring cups are her most favorite
Took her to the park to swing. She could not have cared less. 😆
On the Road to Crunchy Mama 