Sleep is overrated

I’m never sleeping again. Sleep paralysis is spectacularly not fun. It hasn’t happened in years, and never at night before (only naps), but it did last night. 
I was sleeping, and woke up. I had to pee, so I was going to get up, only I didn’t. I thought to myself, “you need to pee, why aren’t you getting up?” (Yes, I talk to myself in the second person a lot, hush.) Then I realized I couldn’t get up, or move at all. Previously I never knew what was happening, and assumed I was dreaming I was awake but wasn’t actually awake. Since I read about sleep paralysis recently and realized that’s what I had experienced, this time I knew I was awake and what was going on. Unfortunately, having read about it, I started panicking that I was going to hallucinate and it would be scary, which apparently triggered exactly that. It’s common, based on what I’ve read, to hallucinate that there’s something/one in the room with you. That usually takes the form of people (like robbers or something), or something more supernatural (which is where they think the idea of a succubus comes from). Turns out I’m a nerd even in my sleep, so for me it was a formless black cloud that was sort of smoky, sort of like black scribbles, which was my brain’s interpretation of the blood beast from the Sword of Truth books. I was still aware enough of what was going on to think that I needed to try to get Christopher’s attention so he could break the effect, so I decided to try to scream. My logic was if I tried hard enough maybe I could make a small noise actually get out. But attempting to scream just set off the panic worse. (From googling since, you should try to just talk normally, which is more likely to successfully to bypass the paralysis.) I did eventually break out of it and wake up fully, thankfully, and I don’t think it took long. But any amount of time is too long. So yeah, not sleeping again. (Though it’s interesting that I didn’t have any feeling of not being able to breathe this time. In the past it’s always manifested as being unable to breathe. Sometimes for no apparent reason, sometimes because there was a tornado (one of my major fears) outside sucking all the air out. But this time breathing wasn’t an issue.)
Okay, I did actually go back to sleep. But I refuse to lay on my back (I’ve never had it happen not on my back, and Google confirms that’s a factor). And I wound up sleeping holding Lil’s hand. I was thinking maybe I could wake her up if she’s close enough (my breathing would get erratic at least), and then she could in turn wake me up. I have no idea if that’s sound logic, but it helped me anyway.


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